We had a great Christmas, in fact we’re still at my mom’s house in Yorba Linda, CA. We just had a belated reception for my brother and his new wife, it was a great time, and we had many family members and friends show up that we haven’t seen for years. After the reception we had we went for dinner, and further enjoyed ourselves; the prayer support from just my family is amazing — let alone all of you guys.

To be honest I am really really sad at the moment; we leave for home tomorrow morning (it’s a 2 day drive) at 9 am. I get admitted for my next cycle of chemo at 9 am on December 29th (Tuesday). This will be a 5 day in-patient experience, and I am really dreading it. There is 15% chance that I could experience hallucinations from this chemo (which is why this is going to be an in-patient stint); the odds are in favor of me NOT experiencing hallucinations, but if you could keep that aspect of this next series in your prayers — that I would not experience hallucinations — that would be much appreciated! My attitude is not at a high point at the moment; I’m only at the beginning stages of my treatments (still 3 cycles to go before surgery, Lord willing), and I’m already growing weary (my hair has already started to fall out — which includes my facial and head — so I’ve totally shaved my head [bic razor] and face).

We are totally trusting the LORD, but to be frank, I just want this to be over with! I want to get better, and I know the LORD, if He desires, can just totally eradicate this cancer from my body; apparently He hasn’t so desired as of yet (although I would say that since my first chemo I’ve already noticed some physical outcomes that would lead me to believe that my tumor has already begun to shrink a bit). Just pray that my wife and I will continue to live one day at a time (Mt. 6), and that we will find our sufficiency in the grace of Christ. I’m exhausted at the moment, even though physically, by God’s grace and your prayers, I am feeling just fine. It’s just the realization that we have quite the road ahead of us still; and I really don’t want to travel down it anymore, I just want to move on from this season (even now) — I want to be cancer-free (and I know that will happen some day, even soon, but I am impatient at the moment). As you can see, I need prayer; I “know” exactly what my response should be — I’m just weary at the moment, so I cry to the LORD (please join me).

You guys are the greatest! In Christ,

Bobby

P.S. I just love my family (parents, brother, sister, and their kids), and I can’t stand to know that as we drove away from them tonight, that the next time I see them will be after we have gone through 3 more cycles of chemo; and then surgery, and maybe more chemo (they all live at least a 1000 miles away from us). Anyway, I’m just being a bit melodramatic tonight, I’m just sad . . .

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