I just wanted to jot down all the positive things that the Lord has done ever since this whole ordeal has started; I thought this would be therapeutic for me, since lately I’ve been getting bombarded with negative things that really aren’t even true (i.e. spiritual warfare).

  • The tumor was/is self-contained.
  • My cancer is curable and operable.
  • My cancer is typically fast growing and spreading, instead it has been acting like a slow growing tumor, even having calcified before chemo started (which means the Lord did and is doing a miracle with my cancer).
  • We have been provided for financially from the get go, and continue to be.
  • My doctors, both of them, have recently said that my cancer is curable.
  • My heart is still healthy.
  • The chemo has actually been effective, it has shrunk my tumor significantly.
  • The Lord has been speaking to me in very clear ways, ways that are reassuring and filled with His hope.
  • The Lord has been sustaining my family.
  • I am still physically healthy, I haven’t gotten sick in any ways, except for recent side effects from the chemo.
  • The Lord has visited us in special ways, i.e. in the beginning of all this I’m sure we had an angel-experience (and in the mean time so has our son).
  • I have constantly been reassured that I am going to live through this whole thing; the Lord has given me John 11:4 as my primary verse of hope, He was speaking this passage to my heart in the very beginning of all of this, even before I identified it in John 11:4 (the impression He gave me, early on was: “this is not unto death”).
  • We have seen the body of Christ in ways that we have never seen it before (at least in a personal/experiential way) . . . that includes all of you guys (amazing)!

There are many other things that the Lord has done through this, but I think this will be a good list to refer to when the enemy comes in like a flood trying to rob me/us of the hope that the Lord has and is working in and through our lives. He is faithful, and meets us at every step; He always reassures, before each doctor visit, that there is good news coming, and it always is good news. His grace is sufficient, and I know He is going to see us through this whole ordeal. May 6th is certainly a “D-day” of sorts, and He has reassured me that that is going to go well too; given the above I have no reason to doubt that at all (to me the above are like rememberance stones that we can take into the future and know that we can trust God’s Word to us — that in fact we “know” His voice cf. Jn 10).

P.S. I am a thinker type, which can be good or bad; at the moment it’s not so good. I have a whole month before surgery, and really nothing to do; please pray that I would be able to find something to do to occupy my time, so I don’t have time to think too much. This is one of the reasons I made this list, because when the negative thoughts come in I want the truth of what God has already done to be written down so I can refer to it and find hope! Thank you all . . .

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