April 2010

I just wanted to jot down all the positive things that the Lord has done ever since this whole ordeal has started; I thought this would be therapeutic for me, since lately I’ve been getting bombarded with negative things that really aren’t even true (i.e. spiritual warfare).

  • The tumor was/is self-contained.
  • My cancer is curable and operable.
  • My cancer is typically fast growing and spreading, instead it has been acting like a slow growing tumor, even having calcified before chemo started (which means the Lord did and is doing a miracle with my cancer).
  • We have been provided for financially from the get go, and continue to be.
  • My doctors, both of them, have recently said that my cancer is curable.
  • My heart is still healthy.
  • The chemo has actually been effective, it has shrunk my tumor significantly.
  • The Lord has been speaking to me in very clear ways, ways that are reassuring and filled with His hope.
  • The Lord has been sustaining my family.
  • I am still physically healthy, I haven’t gotten sick in any ways, except for recent side effects from the chemo.
  • The Lord has visited us in special ways, i.e. in the beginning of all this I’m sure we had an angel-experience (and in the mean time so has our son).
  • I have constantly been reassured that I am going to live through this whole thing; the Lord has given me John 11:4 as my primary verse of hope, He was speaking this passage to my heart in the very beginning of all of this, even before I identified it in John 11:4 (the impression He gave me, early on was: “this is not unto death”).
  • We have seen the body of Christ in ways that we have never seen it before (at least in a personal/experiential way) . . . that includes all of you guys (amazing)!

There are many other things that the Lord has done through this, but I think this will be a good list to refer to when the enemy comes in like a flood trying to rob me/us of the hope that the Lord has and is working in and through our lives. He is faithful, and meets us at every step; He always reassures, before each doctor visit, that there is good news coming, and it always is good news. His grace is sufficient, and I know He is going to see us through this whole ordeal. May 6th is certainly a “D-day” of sorts, and He has reassured me that that is going to go well too; given the above I have no reason to doubt that at all (to me the above are like rememberance stones that we can take into the future and know that we can trust God’s Word to us — that in fact we “know” His voice cf. Jn 10).

P.S. I am a thinker type, which can be good or bad; at the moment it’s not so good. I have a whole month before surgery, and really nothing to do; please pray that I would be able to find something to do to occupy my time, so I don’t have time to think too much. This is one of the reasons I made this list, because when the negative thoughts come in I want the truth of what God has already done to be written down so I can refer to it and find hope! Thank you all . . .

Please pray for Michael Spencer’s family, I just read that he went home to be with the LORD last night. Remember I had previously asked for prayer for him, not to long ago. Anyway, please pray for the peace that surpasses understanding for those Michael left behind (I know of his wife Denise and daughter Noel). Here is a link to the posting that provides notice of Michael’s passing: InternetMonk

I just wanted to ask for special prayer, in advance, for my surgery on May 6th (I know you all are faithful prayer warriors already). That is indeed “D-day,” it’s importance cannot be overemphasized. Here are a few things I really want prayer for:

  • That the surgeon, Dr. Billingsely, will be able to completely remove the tumor and all the affected tissue (he is confident that he can, and a nurse told us today that Billingsley won’t attempt a surgery unless he is sure that he can successfully remove a tumor and all of the cancer — which is very encouraging).
  • That I and my family, on that day, will experience the peace of the LORD; it is a very complicated and involved surgery, slated to last over 5 hrs.
  • That my immediate recovery will go well. I am probably going to be in ICU immediately following the surgery, just for special care (not because I’ll be suspended between life and death or something); I might have a ventilator in (which I’m told they will keep me completely sedated for — please pray I stay completely sedated for that, the idea of waking up with something like that stuffed down my throat frightens me 🙂 ).
  • Following the stay in ICU (which, btw, is not for sure — but if I’m in there, it should be for about 12 to 24 hrs) I will be in the hospital recovering for a week (approx.). Please pray the pain will be minimial, and at the least very manageable. Also pray that I will become very active very quickly, and that I will develop an appetite for hospital food that week (thus far I’ve had problems with that 😉 ).
  • Next I will come home and continue to recover for approx. 6 to 8 weeks. Please pray that I will regain my strength quickly, that I will be patient in that process (I am very impatient with recovery stuff, and become anxious when I’m not recovering at the speed I think I should be).
  • Very importantly, please pray that once this cancer is out, it’s indeed out, and that it will never ever ever ever ever come back again (both my medical oncologist and surgical oncologist believe that my cancer is curable, they have both used this language with me very recently — I believe they are inspired by the LORD on this language 🙂 ). We will be following a diet and some “natural” protocols to help stave off the return of said cancer; most of all we are looking to the LORD to keep it away!
  • Please continue to pray for my family through this process as well. My wife has been an absolute rock (I see the LORD in her in ways I never have before, she amazes me); and my kids are innocently awesome, they both pray for me, and both are trusting that Jesus is going to help me. My son, Jake (he’s 6), often says, when he gets afraid, says: “That Jesus is under control,” and he finds peace in that (I’m glad, because so do I!). Btw, Jake has shared an experience he’s had with an angel coming to him at school and telling him that “his daddy is going to be okay;” it is not like Jakey to make something like this up, so it is neat to see how the Lord is ministering to both of our kids in ways that are best for them and their personalities (btw, I find great solace in the word that Jake received, esp. when the enemy is saying the contrary).
  • Also please pray for continued strength after the surgery and recovery, they are going to want to do a few follow up cycles of chemo after the surgery; just to make sure it’s all dead — and as much as I don’t want more chemo, I think this will be a wise move. Please pray that I will be totally clean (from the surgery), and that the chemo will just be a nice insurance in that regard. Also pray that there aren’t too many cycles involved in this follow up (at least at this point we will be on the healing side of things, so that will make it better).

This is probably enough for now, this whole thing is going to extend out further than we first thought (like probably, at least through July); so finances are going to become an issue once again (we are good through May right now). I just wanted to throw this out there, as we get closer to meeting that need I’ll let you all know where we’re at. Thank you everyone!

« Previous Page